With Week 17 in the books, we now know who will play who and when during NFL Wild Card Weekend:

Saturday, Jan. 7
AFC: No. 6 Cincinnati Bengals (9-7) at No. 3 Houston Texans (10-6), 4:30 p.m. ET (NBC)
NFC: No. 6 Detroit Lions (10-6) at No. 3 New Orleans Saints (13-3), 8 p.m. ET (NBC)

Sunday, Jan. 8
NFC: No. 5 Atlanta Falcons (10-6) at New York Giants (9-7), 1 p.m. ET (FOX)
AFC: No. 5 Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4) at No. 4 Denver Broncos (8-8), 4:30 p.m. ET (CBS)

In addition to wild-card games, the NFL also released the schedule for divisional games:

Saturday, Jan. 14
NFC: Highest remaining NFC seed at No. 2 San Francisco 49ers (13-3), 4:30 p.m, ET (FOX)
AFC: Lowest remaining AFC seed at No. 1 New England Patriots (13-3), 8 p.m. ET (CBS)

Sunday, Jan. 15
AFC: Highest remaining AFC seed at No. 2 Baltimore Ravens (12-4), 1 p.m. ET (CBS)
NFC: Lowest remaining NFC seed at No. 1 Green Bay Packers (15-1), 4:30 p.m. ET (FOX)

The last thing Jim Harbaugh could’ve imagined happening in his first season as 49ers coach was that he’d be sampled in a rap song. Thanks to Bay Area rapper Bailey, though, it has happened.

Honestly, unlike some awkward, borderline-uncomfortable, team-inspired rap songs (“Do The Mark Sanchez” comes to mind), Bailey’s “Who’s Got It Better” isn’t half-bad.

The song is completely dominated by Harbaugh’s “Who’s got it better than us?” locker-room sound byte, which is a family motto he’s used all season to inspire the team. Lay it over a smooth rap beat with some lyrics inspired by the 49ers’ resurgence in 2011, and you have an anthem that fans in San Francisco are sure to rally around through the playoffs.

Does it beat the old 49ers’ team rap song of 1989? It’s hard to beat being “more famous than Cosby and the Huxtables.”

– Simon Samano

Think you have it all figured out when it comes to where all 12 playoff teams will be seeded after Week 17? So did we until our crack research department came up with this handy-dandy guide to Week 17 and how the results for each playoff-implicated game could alter the structure of the postseason.

• For a look at the NFC Week 17 scenarios, click here.

CLICK on image for full version

Think you have it all figured out when it comes to where all 12 playoff teams will be seeded after Week 17? So did we until our crack research department came up with this handy-dandy guide to Week 17 and how the results for each playoff-implicated game could alter the structure of the postseason.

• For a look at the AFC Week 17 scenarios, click here.

CLICK on image for larger version.

On the one hand, there are only three out of 12 playoff spots still up for grabs heading into the final week of the regular season. On the other hand, there are so many possibilities in terms on a) who gets those three spots; and b) where teams fall in the seeding. Here are the playoff scenarios heading into Sunday:

AFC

CLINCHED:
New England – AFC East and a first-round bye
Houston – AFC South
Baltimore – playoff spot
Pittsburgh – playoff spot

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
New England clinches home-field advantage throughout AFC playoffs with:
1) NE win or tie OR
2) BAL loss or tie + PIT loss or tie

BALTIMORE RAVENS
Baltimore clinches AFC North division and a first-round bye with:
1) BAL win OR
2) BAL tie + PIT loss or tie OR
3) PIT loss

Baltimore clinches home-field advantage throughout AFC playoffs with:
1) BAL win + NE loss

PITTSBURGH STEELERS
Pittsburgh clinches AFC North division and a first-round bye with:
1) PIT win + BAL loss or tie OR
2) PIT tie + BAL loss

Pittsburgh clinches home-field advantage throughout AFC playoffs with:
1) PIT win + BAL loss or tie + NE loss

DENVER BRONCOS
Denver clinches AFC West division with:
1) DEN win OR
2) DEN tie + OAK loss or tie OR
3) OAK loss

OAKLAND RAIDERS
Oakland clinches AFC West division with:
1) OAK win + DEN loss or tie OR
2) OAK tie + DEN loss

Oakland clinches a playoff spot with:
1) OAK win + CIN loss + TEN loss or tie OR
2) OAK win + CIN loss + NYJ win

CINCINNATI BENGALS
Cincinnati clinches a playoff spot with:
1) CIN win or tie OR
2) NYJ loss or tie + OAK loss or tie OR
3) NYJ loss or tie + DEN loss or tie

NEW YORK JETS
New York clinches a playoff spot with:
1) NYJ win + CIN loss + TEN loss or tie + OAK loss or tie OR
2) NYJ win + CIN loss + TEN loss or tie + DEN loss or tie

TENNESSEE TITANS
Tennessee clinches a playoff spot with:
1) TEN win + CIN loss + NYJ win + OAK loss or tie OR
2) TEN win + CIN loss + NYJ win + DEN loss or tie OR
3) TEN win + CIN loss + NYJ loss or tie + OAK win + DEN win

NFC

CLINCHED:
Green Bay – NFC North and home-field advantage
San Francisco – NFC West
New Orleans – NFC South
Detroit – playoff spot
Atlanta – playoff spot

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS
San Francisco clinches a first-round bye with:
1) SF win OR
2) SF tie + NO loss or tie OR
3) NO loss

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
New Orleans clinches a first-round bye with:
1) NO win + SF loss or tie OR
2) NO tie + SF loss

NEW YORK GIANTS
New York clinches NFC East division with:
1) NYG win or tie

DALLAS COWBOYS
Dallas clinches NFC East division with:
1) DAL win

Nine teams have clinched playoff spots and the final three will book their ticket into the postseason in Week 17.

The Broncos, Raiders, Bengals, Jets and Titans are vying for the final two available spots in the AFC. In the NFC, the Giants and Cowboys square off in a de facto play-in game.

Here’s how it all breaks down heading into Week 17:

NFC

CLINCHED:

Green Bay Packers — North Division and home-field advantage through NFC playoffs.

San Francisco 49ers — West Division.

New Orleans Saints — Wild-card spot.

Detroit Lions — Wild-card spot.

Atlanta Falcons — Wild-card spot.

ELIMINATED:

Arizona, Carolina, Minnesota, Philadelphia, Seattle, St. Louis, Tampa Bay, Washington, Chicago.

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

San Francisco clinches a first-round bye with:

1) SF win

2) SF tie + one NO loss or tie

3) NO loss

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

New Orleans clinches NFC South Division with:

1) NO win or tie

2) ATL loss or tie

New Orleans clinches a first-round bye with:

1) Two NO wins + SF loss or tie

2) NO win + one NO tie + SF loss

NEW YORK GIANTS

Giants clinch NFC East Division with:

1) NYG win or tie

DALLAS COWBOYS

Dallas clinches NFC East Division with:

1) DAL win

ATLANTA FALCONS

Atlanta clinches NFC South Division with:

1) Two ATL wins + two NO losses

AFC

CLINCHED:

New England Patriots — East Division and a first-round bye.

Houston Texans — South Division.

Baltimore Ravens — Wild-card spot.

Pittsburgh Steelers — Wild-card spot.

ELIMINATED:

Buffalo, Cleveland, Jacksonville, Kansas City, Indianapolis, Miami, San Diego

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

New England clinches home-field advantage throughout AFC playoffs with:

1) NE win or tie

2) BAL loss or tie + PIT loss or tie

BALTIMORE RAVENS

Baltimore clinches AFC North Division and a first-round bye with:

1) BAL win

2) BAL tie + PIT loss or tie

3) PIT loss

Baltimore clinches home-field advantage throughout AFC playoffs with:

1) BAL win + NE loss

PITTSBURGH STEELERS

Pittsburgh clinches AFC North Division and a first-round bye with:

1) PIT win + BAL loss or tie

2) PIT tie + BAL loss

Pittsburgh clinches home-field advantage throughout AFC playoffs  with:

1) PIT win + BAL loss or tie + NE loss

DENVER BRONCOS

Denver clinches AFC West Division with:

1) DEN win

2) DEN tie + OAK loss or tie

3) OAK loss

OAKLAND RAIDERS

Oakland clinches AFC West Division with:

1) OAK win + DEN loss or tie

2) OAK tie + DEN loss

Oakland clinches a wild-card spot with:

1) OAK win + CIN loss + TEN loss or tie

2) OAK win + CIN loss + NYJ win

CINCINNATI BENGALS

Cincinnati clinches a wild-card spot with:

1) CIN win or tie

2) NYJ loss or tie + OAK loss or tie

3) NYJ loss or tie + DEN loss or tie

NEW YORK JETS

Jets clinch a wild-card spot with:

1) NYJ win + CIN loss + TEN loss or tie + OAK loss or tie

2) NYJ win + CIN loss + TEN loss or tie + DEN loss or tie

TENNESSEE TITANS

Tennessee clinches a wild card spot with:

1) TEN win + CIN loss + NYJ win + OAK loss or tie

2) TEN win + CIN loss + NYJ win + DEN loss or tie

3) TEN win + CIN loss + NYJ loss or tie + OAK win + DEN win

The Cowboys-Giants battle for the NFC East title will be shown in prime time next Sunday, the NFL announced.

As part of the league’s flex scheduling, the game was moved from 1 p.m. ET on FOX to 8:20 p.m. on NBC.

Other changes in the Week 17 schedule are as follows:

Buccaneers-Falcons moves to 4:15 p.m. ET on FOX.

Ravens-Bengals moves to 4:15 p.m. ET on CBS. The Ravens have clinched a playoff berth. They can claim the AFC North and a first-round playoff bye with a win over Cincinnati, while the Bengals can clinch the AFC’s No. 6 seed with a win.

Steelers-Browns moves to 4:15 p.m. ET on CBS. Pittsburgh can win the AFC North with a win over Cleveland and a Cincinnati victory over Baltimore.

The Broncos’ 40-14 loss to the Bills and the Raiders’ 16-13 overtime victory over the Chiefs tightened the AFC West race.

Here are the scenarios concerning who could win the division title:

The Broncos (8-7) will win the division if:
• They beat the Chiefs next week.
• Even if the Broncos and Raiders both finish 9-7, Denver would own the tiebreaker based on common games.

The Raiders (8-7) will win the division if:
• They beat the Chargers next week and the Broncos lose to the Chiefs.
• Oakland doesn’t own any tiebreakers over Denver, so it needs to win the division based on overall record.

After further review, the Colts would claim the No. 1 overall pick in the 2012 NFL Draft if they lose Thursday night to the Houston Texans.

Because of a calculation mistake by STATS, it originally was reported that the Colts could fall no lower than the No. 2 pick, based on numerous scenarios. However, after recalculations, it was discovered that should the Colts lose to the Texans, their best possible strength of schedule would be .5430, which still would be lower than the Minnesota Vikings’ worst possible strength of schedule of .5469

The Colts entered the game 1-13. The other two teams also in the mix for the No. 1 pick — the Vikings and Rams — are 2-12.

You can watch the Colts-Texans game, live from Indianapolis’ Lucas Oil Stadium, on NFL Network. Kickoff is scheduled for 8:20 p.m. ET.

Turns out Hines Ward isn’t the only hero of the silver screen with Steelers ties.

Actress Rooney Mara takes center stage in “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” the first of three major films based on author Stieg Larsson‘s “Millennium” series. Directed by David Fincher, the film, which opened Wednesday, required Mara to undergo a real-life transformation from seemingly innocent princess-type to a pierced, tatted-up Scandinavian fire starter.

Mara pulls it off, by all accounts, hailed by The New York Times as “a marvelous pop-culture character, stranger and more complex than the average superhero and more intriguing than the usual boy wizards and vampire brides.” She also received a Golden Globe nomination for Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Drama.

About those NFL ties: Mara, 26, is the granddaughter of former longtime Giants co-owner Wellington Mara and the great-granddaughter of both Steelers founder Art Rooney, Sr. and Giants founder Tim Mara. Her older sister, Kate, also is an actress with a long list of credits.

(In other words, we’re dealing with women who’ve never paid to get into a football game.)

In “Dragon Tattoo,” Rooney plays Lisbeth Salander, a young computer hacker who helps journalist Mikael Blomkvist (played by Daniel Craig) search for a woman who’s been missing for 40 years.

We’ve asked them to hunt around for the Jaguars’ offense while they’re at it.

– Marc Sessler

Heinz Field is notoriously tough on the visiting team, but nothing has ever come close to this.

Moviegoers are drooling over the release of “The Dark Knight Rises” trailer — giving the world an official glimpse at the third installment of Christopher Nolan‘s Batman trilogy.

Gotham is on the rocks, besieged by mayhem and unrest, and nobody — not even the city’s beloved football team, the Rogues — is free from the enveloping darkness.

Gotham’s clash with the rival Rapid City Monuments was filmed at Heinz Field and, to be sure, these Rogues bring a heavy Steelers vibe.

At kickoff, we’re treated to a familiar face, as Steelers (Rogues) WR Hines Ward fields the ball. What happens next (and we’ll leave it to you check it out above) sears the mind.

Batman has his plate full this time around.

Ward — whom some speculate is nearing an end with the Steelers — isn’t the only familiar face in the film. Thomas Tull, who joined the Steelers’ ownership in 2009, is the film’s executive producer and lobbied for “The Dark Knight Rises” to shoot on location in Pittsburgh.

It paved the way for Ben Roethlisberger and a collection of veteran teammates — with Bill Cowher as coach — filming the gridiron scenes back in August. In addition, Pittsburgh mayor Luke Ravenstahl makes an appearance as a member of the Monuments.

This much is clear: Ward hasn’t run this fast in years.

– Marc Sessler

Seven teams have clinched playoff spots and four more can do so this weekend: The Cowboys, Falcons and Lions in the NFC and — that’s right — Tim Tebow and the Broncos in the AFC. Of course, there’s still plenty of jockeying for playoff position – home-field advantage, byes, etc.

Here’s how it all breaks down heading into Week 16:

NFC

CLINCHED:

Green Bay Packers — North Division and first-round bye.

San Francisco 49ers — West Division.

New Orleans Saints — Wild-card spot.

ELIMINATED:

Carolina, Minnesota, St. Louis, Tampa Bay, Washington.

GREEN BAY PACKERS

Green Bay clinches home-field advantage throughout NFC playoffs:

1) GB win or tie

2) SF loss or tie

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

San Francisco clinches a first-round bye:

1) SF win + NO loss

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

New Orleans clinches NFC South Division:

1) NO win or tie

DALLAS COWBOYS

Dallas clinches NFC East Division:

1) DAL win + NYG loss or tie

2) DAL tie + NYG loss

ATLANTA FALCONS

Atlanta clinches a wild-card spot:

1) ATL win or tie

2) DAL loss or tie + CHI loss or tie + ARI loss or tie

3) NYG loss or tie + CHI loss or tie + ARI loss or tie

DETROIT LIONS

Detroit clinches a wild-card spot:

1) DET win or tie

2) CHI loss or tie + ARI loss or tie + SEA loss or tie + DAL loss or tie

3) CHI loss or tie + ARI loss or tie + SEA loss or tie + NYG loss or tie

4) CHI loss or tie + ARI loss or tie + SEA loss or tie + ATL win or tie

AFC

CLINCHED:

Houston Texans — South Division.

New England Patriots — East Division.

Baltimore Ravens — Wild-card spot.

Pittsburgh Steelers — Wild-card spot.

ELIMINATED:

Buffalo, Cleveland, Indianapolis, Miami, Jacksonville.

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

New England clinches a first-round bye:

1) NE win + HOU loss or tie

2) NE win + PIT loss or tie + BAL loss or tie

3) NE tie + HOU loss

4) NE tie + PIT loss + BAL loss

New England clinches home-field advantage throughout AFC playoffs:

1) NE win + HOU loss or tie + PIT loss or tie + BAL loss or tie

BALTIMORE RAVENS

Baltimore clinches AFC North Division:

1) BAL win + PIT loss

Baltimore clinches a first-round bye:

1) BAL win + PIT loss + HOU loss

DENVER BRONCOS

Denver clinches AFC West Division:

1) DEN win + OAK loss or tie

2) DEN tie + OAK loss + SD loss or tie

Denver clinches a wild-card spot:

1) DEN win + NYJ loss + CIN loss + TEN loss or tie

Rule No. 1 of the Internet. Never underestimate the power of monkeys.

On Sunday, a clip of a monkey riding a dog during halftime in Denver struck a chord with NFL.com readers. So, in the spirit of simians, here’s four minutes from “Cowboy Monkey Rodeo Night.” We’d provide more background, but really, what else do you need?

Come for the monkeys herding goats, stay for the progressive rock stylings of Rush.

– Dan Hanzus

Tim Tebow‘s bearhug on popular culture grew ever tighter this weekend when the Broncos QB was the subject of a sketch on venerable TV standard ”Saturday Night Live.”

In the sketch, Jesus Christ visits the Broncos’ locker room after their 13-10 overtime victory over the Bears last Sunday.

Christ (played with common-dude charm by “SNL” vet Jason Sudeikis) told members of the team, including a way-too-eager-to-please Tebow (played by Taran Killam) that he is indeed the reason Denver has won its last six games.

“Here’s the thing, OK?” Sudakis as Christ said. “If we’re gonna keep doing this, you guys gotta meet me halfway out there. I mean, let’s face it: It’s not a good week if every week, I, the son of God, have to come in drop everything and bail out the Denver Broncos in the fourth quarter.”

Christ adds that the team really should be thanking kicker Matt Prater for its latest victory. When Tebow says the only playbook he studies is the Bible, Jesus tells him he should focus on the real playbook.

“Yeah, have you watched the game film, Tim, of the first half?” Christ said. “I mean, c’mon, 3 for 16? I can throw better and I’m 2,010 years old.”

Funny stuff. Watch it here.

– Dan Hanzus

Earlier this year, Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, also known as BPD.

The diagnosis came after three months of treatment and therapy, psychological and neurological exams. Marshall believes the diagnosis and subsequent treatment saved his life.

Marshall’s journey is the focus of ”Brandon Marshall: Borderline Beast,” a documentary slated for release in 2012.

Marshall has stated he wants to “be the face of BPD,” and his decision to be involved in a project this personal certainly speaks to that.

– Dan Hanzus