This has escalated from a half-hearted weekly joke to full-fledged conspiracy. Mike Shanahan HATES fantasy football. Why else would he insist on constantly pulling Shanahanigans week after week? His latest masterpiece is giving Darrel Young not one, but two goal-line touchdowns on Sunday [edit: Young tacked on his THIRD touchdown as the Redskins won in overtime], ruining what could have been another spectacular day for Alfred Morris. This coming two weeks after Shanahan let Roy Helu score three times against the Chicago Bears. So many facepalms were heard around the world as Scott plunged into the endzone for the second time.
We’re on our knees begging Mike week after week. Stop pulling Shanahanigans. He had Pierre Garcon, Jordan Reed and his workhorse Freddy Morris all ready and waiting for their number to be called. Fantasy owners across the country sat on their couches with bated breath… the fate of their fantasy week held delicately in Shanahan’s devious little hands. Oh, those poor fantasy souls. They should have known their fates were sealed the minute they put any shred of trust in Mike Shanahan. It’s a lesson the fantasy world knows all to well, yet must suffer through year after year. It’s the equivalent of a quantum physics class you have to take every year — even when you’re out of school!
So, before the early games were even over we already knew who was going to be the Week 9 “That Helps No One” winner. It came as no surprise that it was a Redskins running back NOT named Alfred Morris. The only surprise was that Shanahan still had a different name buried on the depth chart to use to ruin the Sundays of countless fantasy players. Kudos, Shanahan. You’ve done it to us all again.
– Follow Alex on Twitter @AlexGelhar