One of my favorite episodes of “The Simpsons” is Bart’s Comet. Bart Simpson discovers a comet on a collision course with the town of Springfield. After losing all means of escape (and running out of room in Ned Flanders’ bomb shelter), the town comes to grips with its fate.
And then Homer delivers the one last bit of hope when he says, “What’s everyone so worked up about? So there’s a comet — big deal. It’ll burn up in our atmosphere and what’s ever left will be no bigger than a chihuahua’s head.”
Forgive the spoiler, but Homer is right. And everybody is scared, rightly so.
I figured I had the same chance of winning in our “NFL AM” league over the weekend as I headed into Monday night’s game behind Matt “Money” Smith by 17 points. Thanks to RG3‘s injury, Danario Alexander‘s disappearance and leaving Knowshon Moreno on the bench for Jamaal Charles, well, I didn’t deserve even that much. I joked before the game started that I only needed about five turnovers from Mark Sanchez to win the night.
The notion seemed so far-fetched, I didn’t even check my fantasy scores while I watched the game (and “Monday Night RAW”) from my usual haunt, Slice of New York in Huntington Beach. (And to be honest, I never enjoy the Monday night games because I’m feverishly checking the running totals after every play.) It wasn’t even until late in the fourth quarter when I casually mentioned to my neighbor, Mark, that it was a possibility.
After a quick peek, I was still about four points shy. With just minutes left and the Jets on the move, all hope seemed lost. Even with Sanchez at quarterback, how can you even expect such a thing? It would be like Herman Edwards and the “Miracle of the Meadowlands,” the “Music City Miracle” and the “Immaculate Reception” all rolled into one.
Now, the hyperbole might be a bit thick here considering the author is the beneficiary. But it was really cool for it to work out the way it did. My mouth was on the floor when Sanchez fumbled, and if you could read Rex Ryan‘s lips after the play, let’s just say we both said the same thing but with different inflections.
I know kids: I’m scared, too.
But this isn’t the point of the Monday Nightmare. It’s disconcerting when I actually win on Monday night. We’re here to share our tales of woe. This is one big fantasy therapy couch, and the doctor is in. So share your story. This is a safe place, you’ll feel better when you do.
For the record, you can submit your fantasy questions to NFL Fantasy Live, Michael Fabiano or me on Twitter. But realize, NFL Fantasy Live has 90,000 followers, and Fabiano has nearly 100k. Me? Just four. See, the odds are better I will answer your question, so hit me up both via Twitter or via Facebook (oh wait, I told you to stop going to Facebook). Go instead to Google+. Also be sure to catch the latest “Dave Dameshek Football Program.”