Fanatasy Post Mortem: Jamaal Charles gives sweet relief

Week 3 is nearly in the books, how are you feeling? We still have a great Monday night game left, but let’s look back at the week that was.

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Player of the Week
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(Jonathan Bachman/Associated Press)

It’s said there are only two real emotions in fantasy football – pain and relief. You’re either in pain because one of your players failed to come through for you, or relieved when a guy you played actually had a good game.

We got both of that from Jamaal Charles.

On Thursday, I made a decision (actually a pact with one of my Twitter followers) to stick with Charles and leave Andre Brown on the bench. The reasoning being, and Elliot Harrison and I sung this during the week; you need to stick with your high draft picks. Don’t waiver for the flavor of the month. Brown could have easily put up a meatball on Thursday night and you’d have that to look at.

And we all know what Brown did for you. Not me, obviously because he was on my bench. So there was three days of pain until the Chiefs played on Sunday morning.

Charles went out and scored 34.8 fantasy points (standard leagues). And all I could feel was relief because the decision to start Charles over Brown hadn’t backfired on me.

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You’re fired
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Sometimes you have to avoid acting rash in fantasy football, because I’m tempted to drop CJ2K in one of my leagues to send a message to the rest of my underachieving squad to get their collective ish together.

But Johnson is “undroppable” in my league.

Probably for the best. Sometimes you need technology to work for you like that. Too bad I can’t have the same safeguards when I’m sending out texts during an extended happy hour.

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Smithers, massage my brain
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One of my favorite warnings for fantasy enthusiasts is to avoid the Montgomery Burns syndrome. If you remember the famed “Homer at the Bat” episode of the Simpsons, nuclear power plant owner Montgomery Burns puts together a softball team filled with ringers including Darryl Strawberry, Wade Boggs, Jose Canseco, Roger Clemens and more. (Wow, looking back, there are a lot of loathsome characters.)

What happens is a serious of accidents, gigantism (Ken Griffey Jr.), radiation poisoning (Mike Scioscia) and radical haircuts (Don Mattingly) leave the team with only Strawberry. And the lefty does well playing for Springfield Power Plant. But Burns does the unthinkable by lifting Strawberry to insert Homer Simpson into the game, because he was playing the percentages.

That’s pretty much how I felt benching Peyton Manning (23 points) for Alex Smith (11 points) and Matt Cassel (five points) in two leagues.

Don’t overthink these matchups, folks. Apparently I needed a reminder.

BTW, many of the Simpsons writing staff hated the famed “Homer at the Bat” because it ended with a strange, happy ending for Homer.

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No denyin’ Ryan
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I wrote in my weekly Likes/dislikes Matt Ryan scared me this week. He was coming off a huge win on Monday night, he was traveling across the country and this was prime for a huge letdown game.

So much for that.

Ryan is a must-start quarterback for the rest of the season. There isn’t a defense I would sit him against. And if you drafted Ryan as your backup, trade your original starter.

The Falcons are undefeated on the West Coast under Mike Smith, for the record. Don’t bother looking, the Falcons don’t go back to the West Coast this year, but file it away for next year.

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Let’s talk quarterbacks
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Here are your top eight quarterbacks from Week 3: Ben Roethlisberger, Matt Schaub, Joe Flacco, RG3, Christian Ponder, Red Dalton, Jake Locker and Andy Luck.

In other words, all of the names you would expect.

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You just made the list, buddy
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Tony Romo, what was that? Cam Newton smoked the Buccaneers for 300 passing yards. Eli Manning went for 500 against the Bucs. Now, we couldn’t have expected 700 passing yards (which would have been cool), but we needed something a little more.

Romo had 11 career touchdowns and no interceptions in three career games against the Bucs. Romo had no touchdowns and an interception in Week 3.

Seriously, this was one of those George Costanza “opposite” weeks. If you went with the opposite of your fantasy instincts in a lot of instances, you would have been successful. Oh wait, I’m up in most of my leagues right now on Monday morning. What does that say about me?

Oh Jason Witten, we’ve missed you in fantasy football. Kyle Rudolph had two touchdowns on Sunday, Jason. You had only two receptions.

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You also just made the list, buddy
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(Chuck Burton/Associated Press)

Don’t believe you’re off the hook for a minute, Cam Newton. But this is a clear case of “fool me once …”

Panic and autopick led me to Newton in one league, when time expired during a hunt for Darren McFadden. And most league managers would be understanding in those circumstances and they have the ability to override the autopick to give you the player you want.

But I’m BCC (bat crap crazy). When I’m autopicked a guy, I stick with him because the fantasy gods, I believe, are guiding me to that pick. Hopefully the fantasy gods are speaking the truth when Newton is traded for Wes Welker and Joe Flacco as soon as Monday.

That, however, explains one league. It doesn’t explain how I ended up with Newton in my most important league, with my long-time mates from Corona, California. Thankfully, Andy Luck is going to be the new starter for Ill Communication, but this is a wasted pick.

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This week in #shanahanigans
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So Mike Shanahan has pulled some #shanahanigans on my popular feature from NFL Fantasy Live. The coach has actually stuck with Alfred Morris for three consecutive weeks. (Although Morris was pulled from one goal-line situation.)

So I’ll keep my mouth shut about #shanahanigans. But just so you know, I will keep my eye out for it.

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Seriously
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We waited all this time for Ryan Mathews to return and this is what we have to show for it? And what’s the deal with Philip Rivers? Two interceptions and less than 200 passing yards. There really isn’t anybody you can trust in San Diego right now. It’s rather dire.

Rivers has a great matchup against the Chiefs next week. But I would still advise against starting him because this looks like a blowout win for Kansas City.

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And finally …
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(Paul Spinelli/Associated Press)

Please be sure to return after the Packers and Seahawks game for the Monday Nightmare. A game with Aaron Rodgers will make or break a lot of fantasy weeks. Personally, I’m holding a lead with the Seahawks D and kicker, and my opponent has Rodgers and Jermichael Finley. I already have a knot in my stomach, as I’m already in pain and I’m just looking for a little relief.

For the record, you can submit your fantasy questions to NFL Fantasy Live, Michael Fabiano or me on Twitter. But realize, NFL Fantasy Live has 70,000 followers, and Fabiano has 60,000. Me? Just 13. See, the odds are better I will answer your question, so hit me up both via Twitter or via Facebook (oh wait, I told you to stop going to Facebook). Go instead to Google+. Also be sure to catch the latest “Dave Dameshek Football Program.”

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