Dear Internet: Oh, if only Rob Gronkowski and Kim Kardashian can get together…

Kim K and Gronk? Oh, if wishing made it so/AP

Dear Interwebs:

I don’t ask for much. Maybe a dumb picture here. Maybe a stupid movie there. Some sort of snarky article on Deadspin or the Big Lead will usually suffice. I’m low maintenance.

But I will ask for something now. Hopefully, I’ve saved up my favors. Hopefully, one puny request won’t fall on deaf ears.

Because last night, I came across this item on the gossip side of the Internet linking Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski and famous for something Kim Kardashian as a item.┬áThe “news” is short on details, and who knows if it’s real? I acknowledge that it could be completely bogus, just like all those ridiculous gossipy magazines The Banktress reads.

But if it was real — if Kim really got her number to Gronk — it would be fantastic if they got together. The Bibi Jones stuff was fun last year. So is everything Gronk does. But if it was Gronk and KimK, well, that would take it up a whole other level.

I mean, could the Internet stand it? Could the paparazzi race to Foxboro fast enough to catch shots of her watching practice? And how will she find a way on the field for some post-game congratulatory kissing?

Just think of the entertainment possibilities…

A reality show featuring Gronk, Kim, two pairs of Zubaz pants, weight-lifting and lots of hi-fives. A dual appearance on a dancing show, with Gronk reviving his post-Super Bowl moves and Kim using the ones that got her bounced from Dancing with the Stars.

Imagine the fantastic awkwardness when Kim tries to enter the Patriots locker room after a win, only to find Bill Belichick with his arms crossed, telling her no. Just consider the conversations that will happen between Gronk and Kim’s mom during his cameos on her show. I mean… I could go on and on.

And oh boy, if they ended up getting married and spawning little baby Gronkdashians… those would some savvy, Hollywood-ready, football-spiking machines. Would Sports Illustrated compete with US Weekly for the first snapshots of the babies? I have so many questions.

Please make this happen. If only for comedy. Thanks,

Signed, This guy.

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