Under the Hood: Rodgers deals; Driver Rumbas

Coming soon to a 40-inch LED screen near you, some of your favorite NFL players, extending their brands to the television screen. Not all of it is pretty, some of it is downright awkward, but most of it is entertaining and worth a look.

Seahawks’ Moffitt goes Anchorman on local weather forecast

Remember Steve Martin as the Wacky Weekend Weatherman in “L.A. Story?” Meteorologists in Seattle must have just about the same rate of accuracy. Seahawks guard John Moffitt got a taste of what it’s like to be a weatherman in the Pacific Northwest last Thursday when he bombarded a local news report in the Q13 studios.

To quote Moffitt, standing in font of a green screen covered in storm systems:

“Oh my god, this is an absolute mess right here, as usual. Do we even need a seven-day forecast? We can do a seven-year forecast? It’s going to rain for the next 10 years in Seattle.”

Final score: Get your popcorn ready. Moffitt brings a certain unpredictability to one of the nation’s most predictable weather reports.

Rodgers throws heat

With baseball season set to start Thursday, the Milwaukee Brewers have hopefully set their starting rotation by now. But it’s good to know they have an available arm to call on … at least until NFL training camps start up. Packers QB Aaron Rodgers filmed a series of five television spots for the Brewers’ 2012 campaign, the first of which debuted on Wednesday. A new spot featuring Rodgers is set to debut approximately every three weeks, so stay tuned.

Final score: Get your popcorn ready. Nothing wrong with a little friendly cross-promotion amongst local clubs, but as noted by manager Ron Roenicke, Rodgers’ delivery will need some work.

Driver gets emotional on “DWTS”

Forgive Rodgers’ Packers teammate, Donald Driver, for getting more than a bit misty Monday night on “Dancing with the Stars.” He wasn’t the only one. The couples were dancing from the heart this week, as each was asked to dedicate their performances to the most memorable years in their lives. Driver and partner Peta Murgatroyd danced the Rumba in honor of Driver’s best friend, Brian Pretlow, who passed away from cancer in 2010.

After scoring a 26 out of 30, Driver survived the fan vote to dance on.

Final score: Coin toss. Driver lives to dance another week, but we can’t help but be cynical when contestant Jaleel White tells us the best year of his life came playing Stefan Urquelle, Steve Urkel’s smoother, less nasal alter ego in “Family Matters.”

Falcons’ Biermann puts spin move on Atlanta’s “Real Housewives”

Those of you who have closely watched episodes of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” (you know who you are) are familiar with Falcons defensive end Kroy Biermann and his wife, reality star Kim Zolciak. Well, in case you haven’t had enough of Biermann and Zolciak every Sunday night, Bravo has green lit a spin-off show featuring the couple entitled “Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding.”

We’ll have to wait and see if this show, set to chronicle Zolciak and Biermann as they plan their own wedding, offers anything of worth to Falcons fans. If anything, men can commiserate as Biermann watches his fiancé pick out floral arrangements.

Final score: Fumble. A pregnant Zolciak posing in the nude or in full Falcons red body paint is not what we signed up for (or is it?). The Kardashian-Humphries wedding just about filled our quota for reality star-athlete nuptials, but given the success of the “Real Housewives” series this show’s likely to prove me wrong. It might just turn out to be one that you can share with your significant other without having to poke your eyes out.

 “Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding.” Premieres Thursday, April 26 at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.

Timmy Stardust

You remember “Tebowie,” Jimmy Fallon’s glam-rock tribute to Tim Tebow. Well he’s back and this time he takes his vengeance out on John Elway, the mastermind of Peyton Manning’s arrival in Denver. Donning the Broncos #15 jersey (for the last time) and a pair of glittered shoulder pads, Fallon turns David Bowie’s “Ziggy Stardust” into a wandering tale of a once beloved quarterback scorned by the executive vice president of football operations he once trusted.

To quote Tebowie:

Peyton was a colt, screwed up neck and screwed their season

Spent a year on the bench, and while he was sitting, Tebow was winning

Tebowing was the craze, everything was going great

And then came John Elway, and he kicked him right in his balls

They replaced him with Peyton

Tebow got screwed in the backdoor, now he’s a virgin no more

Final score: Get your popcorn ready. At the time of this airing, Tebow wasn’t yet a Jet, so Tebowie’s line, “Right now his career is dead, but he will rise again” is seemingly prophetic.

— Aron Angel

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