With all apologies to Forrest Gump, it’s fantasy football that’s like a box of chocolates. You choose a few, thinking they’re going to be great. Instead, you bite into one and it turns out not to be what you expected. Then you scramble back to the box only to find it picked over. So you keep eating these same disappointing pieces of candy which in the end just makes you queasy.

Welcome, Michael Vick, to Fantasy Faux Pas Monday. @germagadan is here to greet you.

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@kwhite099 was a little more detailed but no less frustrated.

traded CJ for Vick. Then started Vick over Brady and CJ goes off!

Hey, at least you still have Tom Brady. So you’re doing better than @toe_knee11.

traded away Tom Brady because I thought Vick was just heating up for the season

The only ones heating up right now are Vick fantasy owners. But he wasn’t the only one confounding fantasy enthusiasts this week. @braxtong109 played Raiders roulette Thursday and, well … if he’s in this blog post, you know how that worked out.

dropped Denarius Moore for Jacoby Ford and started Ford

And just because it’s Monday, #shanahanigans. This week, they come courtesy of @andrewif.

Watching AJ Green and McGahee get hurt but even worse, starting Helu this week!

While we keep warning all of you about starting any Redskins, we secretly enjoy Mike Shanahan’s evil genius. Especially when it leads to one of Adam Rank‘s epic office rants.

On another note, if you’ve ever wondered if your fantasy bench players are taunting you, @JoelChadband is here to prove that yes, they are.

Started Roddy White and Steve Smith with Robinson and Lloyd sitting there, looking smug with their points.

And this week’s big winner (loser?) is @TheRudax.

I benched Fitzgerald, Michael Bush & the Chicago D. It doesn’t get worse than that!

It’s hard to imagine it getting worse. In an NFL.com standard league, that’s 92.8 points sitting on the bench. Just like eating a batch of bad chocolates, that’s enough to send you straight for a giant bottle of antacid. The good news is next week is a new week, and as we always say, here’s to not stubbing our toes.

– Marcas Grant

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