Terrible Towel on the best-seller list

Steelers fans love the Terrible Towel. In fact, there hasn’t been an inexplicable love for an inanimate object this big since Germans started flocking to David Hasselhoff concerts. But there hasn’t been any empirical data to back that up, until now.

One of the biggest retail giants in the world, Amazon.com, gives you up-to-the-minute details of the best-selling object at any given moment. And the best-selling item in bedding and bath? None other than the Terrible Towel, which not only ranked first, but also sixth (at the time of this writing).

Yep, the famed invention of Myron Cope is selling better than scales, shower curtains and a Luna premium hypoallergenic waterproof mattress protector. Obviously a proud day for Steelers fans.

But with success comes imitation. And now the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel is reporting that McArthur Towel & Sports, makers of the Terrible Towel (a Wisconsin company — how scandalous) will be producing a Titletown Towel.

Wait, what?

Bad form, McArthur Towel & Sports. This cannot end well.

Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery in the towel business. A fake towel imitation seems like a good idea, much in the same vein that replacing Rob Halford in Judas Priest with a guy from a tribute band is a good idea. But with worse consequences and a non-Mark Wahlberg movie adaptation. Don’t believe me?

One industrious Los Angeles Rams fan thought it would be a good idea to produce the “Rammy Whammy” in 1979, in anticipation of the Rams and Steelers meeting in Super Bowl XIV. Michael Rivard, the towel-stealing version of Seth McFarlane, thought he was just going to make a buck, but instead he doomed the franchise. Because here is what happened next (though it does seem to be kind of a blur at this point).

The Rams blew a 19-17 fourth-quarter lead to the Steelers in the Super Bowl, traded away Eric Dickerson on Halloween day in 1987, and folded the Los Angeles chapter of the franchise in 1994. Was it because of the Rammy Whammy?

Well it certainly could not have helped.

And then there is the ultimate insult. Again, the Terrible Towel is still a top-selling item on Amazon.com, while an original Rammy Whammy could not even fetch a $7 bid on eBay.

Oh well, at least the Thunderstix became popular in Anaheim. Oh, right …

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