Pick Six: NFL Festivus and airing of grievances

Happy Festivus everybody.

Most of you, I’m sure, are familiar with the holiday of Festivus from “Seinfeld.” The highlight of Festivus night is the airing of grievances.

And to quote Frank Costanza, “I’ve got a lot of problems with you people, and now you are going to hear about it.”

Here are the top six.

6. Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens. Letdown does not even to begin to describe the disappointment with this duo. Only a combination of New Year’s Eve, Lady GaGa‘s appearance on “Glee” and Guns N’ Roses’ “Chinese Democracy” could match the ability to overhype and under deliver like T.Ocho. This duo talked Super Bowl, yet have challenged for the league’s worst record. And to make it worse, there were no juicy headlines to go with this hot mess. No pom-poms. No grousing about Carson Palmer. No Sharpies. Nothing. Even their reality show was terrible. Seriously, there hasn’t been a Batman and Robin this bad since George Clooney and Chris O’Donnell.

5. San Diego Chargers and Dallas Cowboys. Weren’t the Chargers and Cowboys supposed to play in the Super Bowl? The Cowboys are already eliminated from the playoffs. The Chargers late December rally might not help them. But as much as I want to blame these teams for failing, the blame should be shouldered on those experts who continue to rate these teams among the best in the NFL.

4. (Fill in the blank) Nation. If you use the phrase (fill in the blank) Nation, I have no respect for you. Has creativity died in this country, nay, nation? As much as it pains me to admit this, the only “Nation” is the Raider Nation. They coined it, so they deserve it. Honestly people, stop it. Red Sox Nation, Clipper Nation or Cardinals Nation — no, no and hell no. This should become a capital offense.

3. Reggie Wayne. Whenever Peyton Manning is mentioned, they always talk about his lack of receivers, most notably TE Dallas Clark and WR Austin Collie. Where is Manning’s go-to guy, they cry? Uh, how about Reggie Wayne? He’s pretty good. Wayne is closing in on 100 receptions and having a great year. So the grievance here is why doesn’t Wayne stick up for himself? Manning does have his go-to guy. Tom Brady and Philip Rivers have survived without their top receivers, but Manning has his. I will blame Wayne’s quiet demeanor when Manning wins another undeserved MVP award.

2. Teams refusing to wear old school uniforms. This goes to all of the AFL owners — excluding Broncos owner Pat Bowlen — for not adopting those glorious old-school uniforms the teams wore in 2009. This borderlines on criminal. The Patriots, Chargers, and Bills especially. And while we are on the subject, how come the Titans got to participate in the AFL throwbacks? I know Bud Adams owned an AFL franchise, but it should have been the Texans, not the Titans, wearing those awesome Oilers throwbacks. In fact, the Houston franchise should be the Oilers, and it’s not too late to change it.

1. Fractional points in fantasy football. This represents everything that is wrong with our country. When did our society become a collection of Little League moms? We give every kid who plays in an organized sport a trophy, so I guess the evolution was to attach a point value to every single offensive possession. What happened to having goals people? And I’ve heard people whine, “but fractionals prevents ties.” You know what else prevents ties? Pistols at 20 paces.

Well that is enough for me. I know many of you NFL enthusiasts have your own grievances. So quit reading this and get into the comment section and let your voices be heard.

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